One Wild Weekend

This past weekend I was so excited to celebrate my friend Stephanie's bridal shower and bachelorette party - one day all about my wonderful pal!

Unfortunately it was 105 during the day so her shower was moved indoors. That didn't ruin a thing, though! Her bridesmaids did a great job of decorating and cooking for the guests. These ladies are Southern and they showed us hospitality to umpteenth degree. They baked several brunch courses, including cheese grits and cornbread. Yum!

Flower decor and delicious treats

Once we were done getting our grub on, it was time to open gifts. It was a lingerie shower and there was no shortage of satin or lace. She scored some beautiful pieces. Perfectly fitting for the gorgeous bride-to-be!

After about a three hour break we regrouped and met back up for the bachelorette party. The girls sipped on cosmos and apple martinis before we climbed into the limo and headed to the clubs. First we hit The Abbey, a gay bar where we could dance and not have to worry about any of the many, many non-aggressive men there bothering us.

Steph and me

The combination of the heat and the lack of food (Yes, they had several hearty entries and appetizers for us but I don't eat meat so I didn't eat much.) hit me hard. I only had five martinis but I was hammered. I was THAT girl...you know, the one who can't walk, who spills her drinks on people, who breaks glasses. I can handle my own when drinking an have never gotten that drunk before. Needless to say I am extremely embarrassed of my behavior.

At the second stop, Wonderland, I was lost outside with no ID so I couldn't get back in. Luckily the bouncer recognized me and let me back in. Once inside I started balling because I had been so scared outside. I never cry. Literally I don't even cry at funerals. It's actually probably a fault of mine that I don't let out my emotions. Well no fear. I cried enough that night to last me a year.

This is m drunk face. My friend's call it me the Irish Pirate because one eye closes when I get my drank on. I also like to blame the inability to walk straight on the wind. That night it was Hurricane Earl's fault - nevermind I live in LA, nowhere near any high winds.

After knocking over glasses and having a mini bottle of wine fall out of my purse and shatter all over a friend's dress and in front of the club manager, we decided to call it a night. Note we were not kicked out haha. I think they were exhausted trying to take care of me and another girl who was toasted. Poor bride-to-be. I feel so bad that she had to put up with that. I'm mortified even more because of the fact that I didn't know most of the girls. So this was their first impression of me.

To cap off the ridiculousness, I ended up completely losing my wallet and iPhone. The wallet was found 20 miles away at a post office and is getting mailed to me. I had cancelled all of my cards so thank goodness only my money was stolen. As far as the phone...no clue where that sucker went.

So here is my PSA: do not drink in the heat and on an empty stomach or you, too, will make a fool out of yourself.